Wants
To help answer the oh-so-important question of “what do we want?”, this page provides a reference for all the categories and subcategories of wants used on the site. Descriptions for each category and subcategory are given with examples of specific wants and problems to help clarify the concepts and fuel the thought process.
Survival is (usually) the most important category because it covers what we need to stay alive and being alive makes it a lot easier to address other wants. I say “usually” because the existence of words like “sacrifice” means there are exceptions.
We need air to breathe and provide our bodies with the oxygen required to stay alive. Most people can go a few minutes without air before they die.
Wants: A breathable atmosphere, proper building ventilation, working SCUBA gear, blood oxygen saturation levels over 97%.
Problems: Pollution, drowning, choking, low lung capacity, asthma, general lung health, high altitudes, sleep apnea, allergens, chubby bunny marshmallow games, carbon monoxide, living in outer space.
About 60% of the human body is water. Most people can go a few days without water before severe dehydration and death.
Wants: Clean drinking water, wells, springs, rain, juice boxes, coffee, intravenous drips.
Problems: Contamination, heat, drought, fever, forgetting to drink, broken well pumps, burst pipes, excessive sweating, uncontrollable diarrhea.
Food provides our bodies with the nutrition and energy needed to stay alive. Most people can go a few weeks without eating before starving to death.
Wants: Fruits, vegetables, meat, grains, dairy, sunlight, pizza, feeding tubes, vitamins, minerals, proteins, specific calorie counts, a balanced diet, cheese.
Problems: Mold, famine, pests, allergies, lactose intolerance, special diets, religion-based restrictions, eating disorders, fainting, busy schedules, being hangry, living outside the range of pizza delivery services, food prices, filling up on food that’s as unhealthy as it is tasty.
If we have what we need to stay alive, staying healthy is usually the next priority. Health impacts our quality of life and our ability to pursue the things we want.
Mental health is about the mind and the clarity and sensibility of our perceptions, thoughts, behaviours, and responses. It affects our ability to learn, feel, understand situations, prioritize, develop plans to get what we want, and appreciate what we have.
Wants: Good memory, logic, to think rationally, decision making ability, motivation, perceptions, emotions, emotional control, empathy, happiness, appropriate behaviours, goals, focus, peace and quiet, time to think, the ability to appreciate things, to accept mistakes, to recognize problems, to admit to problems, to ask for help, to learn and move on.
Problems: Trauma, disease, depression, over-stimulation, paranoia, anxiety, communication barriers, assumptions, medication, dementia, delirium, addiction, obsession, chemical imbalance, guilt, empathy, lack of supports, being surrounded by jerks.
Physical health determines how well our bodily functions and systems work. It determines our ability to interact with and experience things and allows us to implement plans and take the actions required to get what we want. Too many physical health problems can result in death.
Wants: Working organs, working systems, to see, to hear, to smell, to touch and feel, to taste, to move, comfort, appropriate clothes, shelter, physical check-ups, exercise, rest and recovery time, chairs with proper back support, to do a chin up without the assistance of pulleys, regularity, 6-pack abs.
Problems: Injury, poison, pain, illness, infection, restrictions, obstructions, genetics, aging, sleep deprivation, extreme temperatures, no access to care, trans-fats, poor hygiene habits, fisticuffs, free breakdancing lessons at the retirement home.
While Survival and Health are very personal requirements, Opportunity looks at what we want from society and the world around us to help us pursue our wants.
Freedom related items support the ability to think, act and make choices without restraint, persecution or judgmental looks when pursuing what we want
Wants: To travel, to shop, to go to school, to go outside at night, to ask questions, to answer (or not) answer questions, to have time off work for medical appointments or personal events, to do what makes me happy, to be myself.
Problems: Jail, curfews, policies, prejudice, unwanted attention, responsibilities, accountability, expectations, commitments, dependents, dependencies, technological limits, cultures, handcuffs, laws, fear, traditions, social norms.
Information is about having access to the truth and details we need to make appropriate decisions and take appropriate actions. Good information will answer questions, raise questions we didn’t know we had, or entertain us.
Wants: To learn, news, books, signs, internet access, courses, discussion groups, a good story, experience, to see for myself, new smells, new flavours, new sensations, answers to riddles, confessions, to understand my purpose, to satisfy my curiosity, feedback, context, to know what others are thinking, the truth.
Problems: Censorship, privacy rights, historical inaccuracies, lies, deception, poor data quality, late information, misinterpretation, assumptions, gossip, rumours, secrets, constant change.
Expression is about our ability to share what we have like our knowledge, facts, data, work, talents, ideas, questions, concerns, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, wants, and problems.
Wants: To speak, to write, to speak more languages, to laugh, to cry, to tell a joke, to tell a story, to gesture, art, social media, aesthetics, tattoos, piercings, an audience, to find the right words
Problems: Cultural or religious beliefs, disabilities, political correctness, anxiety, language barriers, articulating thoughts and feelings, lack of forums, nobody to listen, gag orders, being sensitive to mixed audiences, hecklers.
A Home covers things related to having a safe and reliable place to retreat, recover and regroup and is not necessarily a physical space.
Wants: A house, shelter, a mailing address, to be a citizen of a country, to be surrounded by supportive and trustworthy people, protection from elements, comfort, to feel safe and secure, a happy place, acceptance, personal time, a working mute button during a teleconference, social services
Problems: Eviction, war, natural disaster, housing affordability or availability, envy, paranoia, mistrust, fame, unwanted guests, landlords, paparazzi, incessant telemarketing or scam calls during dinner.
Control is about our ability to change, prevent or influence things. Knowing our actions and efforts make a difference can motivate and prevent feelings of despair.
Wants: To vote, a means to earn a living, a process for change, legal rights, veto rights, authority, to be consulted, a blank cheque, to be owed favours, to hold the TV remote, to be the first to know, a cable package with only the channels I want to watch.
Problems: Unemployment, conspiracies, political agendas, red tape, legal status, military draft, surprises, not being listened to, skeletons in the closet, blackmail, bankruptcy.
Fairness is about our needs for clear and equally applied rules so we can trust that there are basic expectations to work with. If rules are seen, or perceived to be violated without consequence, or if the rules themselves create unequal opportunity, then systems will be judged unreliable and inevitably challenged, worked around, or undermined.
Wants: Laws, morals, ethics, compliance, monitoring and enforcement of rules, common sense, transparency, accessibility to services, FIFO, clear explanations and expectations, justice, accountability, consequences, timely change when problems identified.
Problems: Crime, ignorance, indifference, inconsistency, favoritism, corruption, perception, cheating, bribes, cutting in line, limited resources, chaos, despair, unrealistic expectations, rules that aren’t working but take forever to revise, changing rules part way through a game, one car taking up two parking spaces, one person grabbing all the crab legs at a buffet table.
Relationships are the different ways we can coexist and connect with others to help achieve the things we want.
Family is our first and most foundational relationships created by birth, adoption, marriage, or other unions. They, usually but not always, provide an environment of unconditional love, support, and shared values. They are the most dependable relationships we have by nature and often reinforced by both church and state.
Wants: Parents, to make my parents proud, a partner, to make my partner happy, children, to provide for my children, a good upbringing of my children, aunts, uncles, cousins, adopted family, in-laws, acceptance, to be understood, unconditional love and support, a legacy.
Problems: Death, divorce, being unable to provide necessities, inheritance disputes, in-laws, conflicting beliefs, generational gaps, culture changes.
We can’t always choose our family, but we can choose our friends who provide mutual support towards fulfilling each other’s needs.
Wants: Best friends, social friends, distant friends, casual acquaintances, pets, a trusted second opinion, to be invited somewhere, to be thought of, to be visited, to be remembered.
Problems: New schools, new friends, lopsided relations, changing needs, inconsistent behaviours, fear of being ourselves, friends that don’t get along with other friends, friends lost in problems, not enough time for friends.
Intimates are very close relationships that allow us to share the most personal moments and information. Having reliable outlets to share dreams, concerns, thoughts, or acts without the fear of being judged as inappropriate, can help keep us sane.
Wants: A spouse, a romantic partner, sympathy, empathy, self-satisfaction, coitus, a confidante, helplines, psychiatrists, doctor-patient privilege, imaginary friends, stuffed animals, a diary, a good body pillow.
Problems: Betrayal, insincerity, deception, poor communication, no privacy, lack of appreciation (or demonstration of appreciation), difficulty expressing oneself, very different priorities, poorly timed laughter.
Associates have common interests and can provide support to achieve specific wants. They can be personal or professional.
Wants: Work colleagues, schools, sports teams, neighbours, book clubs, armies, parties, AA meetings, parades, protestors, angry mobs, bands, teachers, butlers, family doctor, therapist, mentors, to escape an escape room, fan clubs, bridge partners.
Problems: New jobs, moving, new interests, uneven participation, uneven workload, extremism, infighting, priority changes, conflicting goals, hidden agendas.
General relationships with acquaintances or the public are not as personal and require less commitment but can be a good source of additional perspectives and options. It’s possible have people who fall into more than one relationship category, however, it’s important to note that some combinations may be discouraged at work while others are actually illegal in most places.
Wants: Social networks, discussion forums, sounding boards, friends of friends, additional opinions, introductions to new things
Problems: Sensitivity to criticism or feedback, trolls, haters, blamers, scam artists, generally negative individuals.
Achieving anything we want can be considered success, but some common success indicators are listed below. An important note is that we can define our own success, which means we need to pick the right criteria for ourselves and not just use someone else’s.
Respect is based on how we perceive ourselves, how we perceive others, how others perceive us, how we think others perceive us, and the consideration we give accordingly. Keep in mind that perceptions may not be accurate and can change in an instant
Wants: Self-respect, self-confidence, respect from others, fame, to understand my role, to understand what makes me unique, to trust and be trusted, to initiate things, to make good first impressions, to overcome bad first impressions, to see everything as a learning opportunity, to know what I want, acknowledgement, a simple hello or thank you, a birthday card, people to get my name right, preferential treatment, to be cc’d on important memos, to hear everyone’s honest opinions.
Problems: Bullies, internet trolls, shamers, being mocked, self-harm, pessimism, arrogance, peer pressure, not being invited somewhere, being ignored, being left out, assuming people know they’re appreciated, assumptions in general, jobs dependent on not being recognized (e.g. undercover police, spies, stunt/body doubles, ninjas, theme park characters), associating fear with respect, accepting negative attention as recognition, questionable public behaviour, public opinion, slander, smear campaigns, sabotage, personal beliefs, stereotyping, being picked last, violence, abuse.
Possessions are quantifiable things and people like having things.
Wants: Money, land, property, cars, toys, assets, information, yachts, legal drugs, the newest technology, shoes for every possible occasion, ownership, a private island.
Problems: Hoarders, storage space, theft, taxes, rare items, laws against keeping pandas in the basement, coveting someone else’s things.
Achievements are testaments to success ranging from universal recognition to a personal memory we can reflect fondly upon.
Wants: Awards, trophies, certificates, degrees, diplomas, promotions, titles, bragging rights, interesting stories, a thumbs up, to become the best at something I have a talent for, to enjoy doing something I have no talent for, to win, to learn a language, to ride a bike, to play the guitar, to get someone’s attention, to win an election, to have a holiday named after me, to go on a dream date with a crush, to binge watch all six seasons of an old show in one sitting, having a biography written about me, to experience something new, to overcome a challenge, pleasure, to travel the world, to satisfy a curiosity or interest or fetish, to obtain power, to change a life, to make someone smile, to complete a rare coin collection, to do a chin up.
Problems: Preoccupation with perfection, preoccupation with past failures and regrets, not learning from failures, trying to “keep up with the Joneses”, time or resource constraints, not giving credit when credit is due, inaccurate information, biased systems, unclear expectations, lack of support, doubt, despair, competition, changing interests or priorities, too many interests, societal norms, peer pressure, global pandemics, distractions, no teachers, lack of motivation, physical limitations, impatience, already believing we’re the best.
To help is about wanting to improve the lives or situations of others, or wanting to help others get what they want
As the name implies, specific help will have specific beneficiaries who could be individuals or groups.
Wants: To donate to important causes, to fundraise, to coach, to teach, to provide care, to volunteer, to listen, to support, to carry groceries, to help someone move, to drive someone to the airport, to help without being asked, to see someone succeed, to understand what people want, to give an appropriate gift, to make someone happy, to adopt a puppy.
Problems: Unfulfilled personal needs, a bad previous experience with helping others, rejection, ego or pride, fear of treading on someone else’s ego or pride, fear of creating a dependency, too many people to help.
Global help doesn’t have a specific beneficiary in mind but is about wanting to make things better for everyone, including future generations.
Wants: Religion, national pride, unity, to colonize Mars, to eradicate diseases, to stop global warming, to end world hunger, to prevent the sun from eventually burning out, to protect the earth from killer asteroids and other extinction level events, to promote veganism, to save the whales, to cure cancer, to align the world to common goals, to help others figure out what they want, for everyone to be happy.
Problems: Moral or ethical conflicts, misalignment to other needs or beliefs, being misled, corruption, lack of support, lack of evidence, lack of resource, political barriers, individual values.make things better
The categories provided will help structure a thought process and many wants will make sense under multiple categories. This is expected, but the value isn’t in the categorization of our wants, but in identifying them so we don’t miss anything important.
It’s also worth clarifying that “problems” make it harder to achieve certain wants, but aren’t inherently bad. Problems in one category may very well be wants in another, e.g., laws support Fairness but can be a problem for Freedom related wants. This is why prioritizing is so important, to avoid unintentionally undermining important wants with less important ones.
Knowing what we want is the first step to getting what we want. How we go about getting it will be based on the want and the situation, but we don’t live alone in this world, so it’s also important to consider what other people want. Even if helping others is not a priority, and regardless of intentions, inconsiderate actions will provoke inconsiderate responses which can lead to really big, potentially unnecessary, problems.
Thanks, and good luck to everyone on figuring out what you really want.